A Girl's Heart Story

2010-05-09T02:50:00.000-07:00

有时我真的不肯相信我的"命水"永远都站在那中线，什么都是50%-- 家庭，学业，外表，生活。。。有时真的很无奈。可能上天给我所有的一切都是50%是因为要我积极D (但是自己有不是很积极嗌！！！). 不过，我一直告诉自己已经好过很多人, 至少衣食无忧，要知足常乐。可是现在又再烦了。其实是没问题的。可是就是担心很多，担心将来。看来还是别渴望将来的生活会好象现在一样。自己要醒醒定定喇。。靠自己双手总好过摊开手掌等人给。。。

2010-03-07T06:21:00.000-08:00

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

sadly, i fail to follow it...

2010-01-08T21:50:00.000-08:00

So much work still left undone. OH CRAPPY CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!

FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!

What else to comment about the discussion??? I need brilliant ideas... inspiration... @_@~~~

I wanna be a good student do my assignment. but... but... but... my mind is just not here yet. slap ma face

2010-01-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

What's the difference between "not going out at night anymore"and "you must be home latest by 1.30 am"? I guess no difference. I mean, okay.... everyone is having fun and drinking in the club and at 1am I tell my friend "hey, I need to go back d. Can you fetch me home now?" OR I tell my friend before going to or on the way to the club and any place that I need to reach home by 1.30am. I think this will give people pressure of bringing me out and might not asking me to club anymore except yum cha, perhaps. Seriously, I don't wish to spoil the fun night and I love the fun at night, just like everyone else there... But, do I have any other option if I wanna stay til the end? yea, she'll lock the door then i'll have to stay outside lo... so simple only ma. I know I know.. I know she worries for my safety and all but wat if I'm Aus d? (my dad has booked the air ticket, so it's comfirmed and I MUST NOT fail in any subjects) she's not gonna be there for me everyday and I can go out every night. so takkan she's not... ok... i'm not being mature saying this as I'll be someone's mother one day.. who knows? But... HAIZ... youngsters nowdays don't sleep early mom... not that I don't wanna have a healthy lifestyle but I don't wanna miss it as I'm still young now. the fun ends at 3am le.. or later than that lo!!!! I don't know how to express myself anymore man... unless I choose to be rebellious than I'll hailat that time.

HA! went to republic with friends last night. Damn... I distaste guy who is not gentleman lo... I mean guy who doesn't pay for girl's or girls' bill. Not that we couldn't afford to pay for it but as a guy summore he works instead of studies, don't tell me that you can't afford to pay for that less than 50rm bill. Girls damn pantang working guys who don't pay for their bills- I'M ONE OF THEM. I bet that's common courtesy. I thought if a guy doesn't pay for the girl's bill then how to kao lui le? don't need to kao lui anymore and go home TFK lo? i guess no girls like guys who are not gentleman in that kind of way, am i right? anyway, i told my friend that's the last night i would yam cha with this guy lo.. no next time though i don't know him well at all. who knows i gotta pay for my petrol if i ask this kind of guy to fetch me home? LOL...

speaking of studying abroad, yes i really feel happy to have this opportunity to expose myself and get away from this country a while to let myself do whatever i want as long as i know what i'm doing, again as I said, provided that I PASS in all subjects (cannot always say that F word, very "che" one)
YEA, PASS---CREDIT--D--HD or GREEN/BLACK COLORED MARKS. LOL

i align my post to left from this time onwards, damn tiring to press enter nonstop. looks messy too..

a new update finally

2009-12-23T20:46:00.001-08:00

It's been a damn long time since i blogged.
Just because I'm not keen in blogging
Anyway, what's the day tomorrow?
CHRISTMAS DAY!!!!!!
i remembered i was in S'pore at this time
and i couldn't celebrate with the one who was used to be a special one in my heart.
but now, i don't give a fuck anymore la.
I'm getting over it so well now and i enjoy my single life!

Summer school has started 3 months ago.
I thought i'd have lots of free time since the classes are only 2 days per week
and i could take up some part time jobs during the free days.
but, sometimes things dont happen according to your expectation.
well, this is what we call uni life, either you do it or fuck it.

random... part 2?

2009-09-13T00:59:00.000-07:00

tonight's plan is canceled.

thought that we would be able to sit together and have a nice chat,
since we havent been seeing each other for so long.
this friend sometimes really breaks our heart, turn us down.
guess that i know her bad attitude instead of her good ones,
but i dont care about that, just dont wanna comment on her.
anyway, tomorrow gonna meet my primary school friends. Yoohoo~~
let's see if the guys look much better than during 1999. haha...

sometimes i really feel like hitting my uncle.
he acts like he fucking knows a lot about relationship.
he stalked on my blog, i hate that!!!!
he said to me: "girl, i can read your mind on the internet.
well, you can always call me and talk to me, open up your mind to me.
if your not happy, go shopping! that's the best way for you, trust me."
FUCK YOU MAN!!! WHAT THE HELL YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME!
MYOB LA BASTARD!
argh!!!!! fuck it...

i had block teaching for 2 days- yesterday and today.
it really tortured me to the max man... damn boring and tired lo.
the lecturer wasnt good in lecturing.
half of the class left during break which was only about 5-10 minutes.
felt bad for him though.

anyway, here are some random pics to upload since i only posted words lately.

snapped for fun while waiting for my mom :)

there was a girl purchased something and got these tickets.
i asked the cashier how to get these and she said must purchased rm120 above.
then the girl asked me if i want it, i was paiseh so i accepted it since she didnt want.
the cashier told me the concert was yesterday, which i accepted these yesterday.
sad man, i cant make it to watch my manhand and justin. haiz...
wasted like hell lo.. no wonder the giral didnt want it. hahaha...
this is called greedy :P

i wasnt in a good mood yesterday and i didnt dare to blog it
and wanted to keep to myself, so i wrote it on papers- 3 pages
i made it blur so i dont think people who kepo can read it. LOL!!
i felt much better after that though, even though i couldnt tell anyone about it.

saw this ferrari when on the way home. the vrooom sound was so much
different with modified cars. ferrari's vrooom sound is damn smooth and makes
you wanna hear it more. but the modified one makes you feel like showing you
middle finger to the driver. hahaha....
the speed is also a huge difference compared with normal cars lo.
imagine that your car is stopped at the same row with the ferrari,
the traffic light turns to green and your myvi starts to move
but the ferrari is already about 500m away from you? SERIOUS!!!!

oh! i treat her as my buddy. hahahah...
my popo looked cool in the photo hor?
i didnt ask her to look at the camera le, she turned to it naturally.
so i'd say she's quite zi lian too. hahaha

and lastly, my 包包脸!!! gimme bio essence!!
angle problem ok?????

2009-09-11T02:39:00.000-07:00

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nothing to blog

2009-09-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

been very emo since he didnt fb 'til today.
this doesnt sound making sense between my mood and his fb
but at least his existence on fb gives me a feeling "oh, he's here!"
and now, i wonder what he's busy now.
ya, i know i should stop thinking of him anymore.
i'm sorry, i cant control my mind atm. let me be..

just now i was at SP to wait for my friend and suddenly,
co-incidentally, i bummed into the an-ne-ne unexpectedly.
he's with his new girl and me and him didnt say hi to each other
but 擦肩而过. oh well~~~

just now i was standing in front of the 非常完美 poster
while waiting for friends going to the gents
i was staring at this actor who posed his side face looking at fanbingbing
i stared at him and stared at him and stared at him for a long time..
his lips and nose look like him so damn fucking much.
and now i'm very obsessed to this poster.
wanted to cut the head out and carry it home
and hug it in dreamz.

tomorrow gotta go penang with mom for few days
and i havent even touched my assignment
and it's due next friday!!!
i hate group assignment!!!

emo+period= pimpleZZZZ on my pretty face
SOMEONE PLEASE COME AND FUCK MY PIMPLES OFF
IN ANYWAY YOUR WANT.
I'D APPRECIATE YOUR FAVOR.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH

2009-08-14T05:37:00.000-07:00

this is tasty-licious~~~
but tasteless XD

2009-08-10T04:55:00.000-07:00

again i was being emo today.
too emo til i posted on the fb.(i have deleted the status)
honestly, i cant accept any guy saying that i have no confidence.
woe to you who said this to me!!!
but i'd like to say thanks for i was 'chi kek' by the words
and wanna get back my confidence.

this week gonna get busy til next week for upcoming tests.
shitshitshitshitshitshitshit!!!!!!!
wont online so frequently after next week.

a lonely day out

2009-08-09T00:38:00.000-07:00

i went to KL to hang out alone yesterday.
did a little shopping and watched movie.
but you know what? i've wasted rm6 of the movie.
sounds weird right?
yea, i went to optical shop to look for color cons
and did test for my eyes too.
so i expected it to be done before 4pm
cos the movie started at 4pm...
but then the whole thing took me for 1 hr.
so when i got there it's already 4.55pm
i have wasted 1/2 of the movie!!!!! Y_Y
rugi ar cb!!!!!!
but the ending very sad la... wanted to cry but no tears.
cos my tears are still out of stock. haha..
anyway, i'll get the movie when it's out in hostel.. :)
i bought the face soap for rm39.90 and color cons for rm170
you might think i spent a lot but lemme explain 1st.
both of these two things can be used for 6 months.
so to be exact, i only spend rm 34.83 for each month
i'm a damn smart shopper right??? hahahhaha..
i cant wait to wear my color cons cos it's the first time wearing this.
if wanna know about the color cons, please click here.
i choose this brand instead of Freshlook cos this brand has big eyes+color
and it's made in Korea so i dont think it's a chabalang brand since it's sold
in certain optical stores so it's gives me confidence to buy it.
i was thinking once i dress up and wear the cons i'll look like
a cawaii girl walking on the streets. hahahhaah...
想太多了吧~~
i only can get it few days later :(

2009-08-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

Just a temporary one will do.
the permanent one maybe will be in the future.
MAYBE.....

Finally I know how to make a bun on my hair. :)
but is not nice enough.
it's ok. practice more can liao.
*happy*

It's the same person

2009-08-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

yo~~~ can you see the change?
2007 punya look and 2009 punya look
of cos I prefer the 2009 look la!!!!
hahahaha....
正所谓--- 女大十八变
看我72变!!!!
*暗爽*

2009-08-03T05:46:00.000-07:00

如果有一天王祖蓝来马来国举办栋笃笑，我会储蓄钱买票看他。
他实在太有幽默感啦。
太喜欢他。
muackzzz!!!!

Click: Add as GIRL-Friend

2009-08-03T03:54:00.000-07:00

I really don't understand this.
Why guys like to add girls to their lists?
Do they actually know them or just because their are cute and pretty and sexy so they add them in order to moisture their eyes with more pretty photos?
if they really know them as friends then it's fine.
but if they add them just for the sake of having pretties in their lists and seeing their photos and stuff, then I would say "c'mon la, for what man? can see but cannot touch and taste, go do something more meaningful la!!!"
sometimes I really cant stand that person keeps adding girls to his list.
But i cant do anything and i have no right to do anything either, anymore...
anyway, what i can say is....
BO LIAO~~~~

beyond 100% accurate about me!!!!

2009-07-30T05:37:00.000-07:00

生日看爱情！
24/6
菠蘿：謙虛，不熱情，真誠

菠蘿最出名的便是那溫柔體貼、謙虛又善解人意的性情，而且你是一個愛家又戀家的甜蜜情人，能夠和你成為情人的話，一定會被你戀家的形象所吸引。在不用工作的時候，你會把家居整理得乾乾淨淨，讓家增添一種舒服寧靜的感覺。對於愛情，你不會去購買一些昂貴的東西給伴侶，反而你認為一首詩、一個擁抱都可以令對方感動萬分，因為你深信努力營造感性氣氛才最重要；此外，菠蘿的你特別重視感情，最重要是寧願不談情，也不會隨便去戀愛，對於陌生人是絕不會隨意表現自己，不過當大家熟絡過後，你是可以和對方無所不談的。與菠蘿拍拖秘訣：雖然菠蘿的人性格並不熱情，但如果你想追求菠蘿，那就絕不可以輕言放棄，因為菠蘿的人天生比較慢熱，只要你肯花點心思花點時間，只要纏住不放手，便能得手。

I C&P this from facebook.
This is who I am.

WARNING!!!!!

2009-07-29T03:48:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the blur images here, you may click on them to see clearer.

i got warning for this, so will I get blacklisted for this?

WTH.....

2009-07-28T03:13:00.000-07:00

A fucking huge cushioned chair @ Sunway Pyramid

I wished i can climb to sit on it and take a nice photo.

low high low high

2009-07-27T09:19:00.001-07:00

today a lecturer questioned us:

lecturer: "........, so it's low or high?"

some said low some said high

lecturer: "low high low high?"

hahahhahhahaha.....

i couldn't help laughing when i heard him saying this.
not that i'm sampat la.. very funny indeed.

so, you know what i'm saying?

description of my life

2009-07-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

DULL

BORING

COLORLESS

TASTELESS

FULL OF LONELINESS

TOTALLY-NOT-HAPPENING

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are these going out to stay forever in me?
I really wanna out from all these
i'm sick of them already

Mahjong

2009-07-24T04:22:00.001-07:00

haehaehaehae...
from 1600++ of chips to 0 chips..
i pay a lot of fees to level up my game le....
dun play play~~~

what you are listening now

2009-07-20T06:26:00.000-07:00

the song playing on my blog now, does it sound very warm???
i super love this song.
the more i listen to it, the more i feel like wanna get married now
and play this song at my wedding dinner.
hahahaha... i know i think too much la.
'cos not even a boyfriend i have now lu~~~
or even i might have a boyfriend in future,
my bridegroom will be very blur in my .
ahaha, why am i dreaming here? it's time to wake up (0_0)

today was my 1st day of class, kinda sucks la
6 hours break in between and didnt know there's no workshop on 1st week of the classes,
if not i'd have gone home after 10.30
somemore i havent talked to anyone yet.
hopefully i'll get to make some new friends next week.

wanna know the song name n sung by who?
if interested please leave your comment @ janicelmt@blogspot.com
3Q ^^

tattoo

2009-07-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

what's the feeling drawing a tattoo on the body?
is it painful?
is it very expensive even for a small one?
i remember Xiaxue said it's like bitten by the ants if i'm not mistaken.
recently i feel like having tattoo on my body, believe anot?
dont know why, maybe this can make myself feel confidence a bit or something.
but my mom hates people having tattoo on their bodies.
whatever it is, i'd like to try on a temporary one one day, or soon.

Get Ready...

2009-07-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

now has turned to Sunday- the last holiday i'm having now since about 4 months ago
kinda miss the college days, feel excited to meet new friends,
or perhaps meet some people that i've known them previously.
but when i think of assignments, tests and exams,
these just make me feel like I want back my holidays...
okay, gotta start packing my school bag now (sounds very primary school hor?)
hahaz... anyway, i know i'll be still in holiday mood on monday onwards.

i always hope that there will be 2nd round, will this come true?
i've always wanted to ask about his news-
how he's doing, what he has been up to, whether he's meeting a girl...
but, i find it hard to get the news. FB is just not enough to get what i want.
now he's like totally out of existence..
all i can do now is guess and give myself fantasy..

拭目以待

2009-07-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

第一次的過失才發現心中有把真理的尺
勇氣它原來這裡開始

每一次的得失決定著我明天是什麼樣子
塞滿理想的城市淚水變成了奢侈
微笑是對自己的懂事

我願意拭目以待
去等待每份色彩
拭目以待我打造什麼未來
時間是個郵差按時遞送題材
我的夢我主宰你最明白

每一次的錯失會發現緊握空拳頭的手指
緊握的是跳躍的堅持

偶而會有迷失決定著人的幸福最後地址
成長沒有方程式跟隨真心的聖旨
你是我最值得的固執

我願意拭目以待
去等待每份色彩
拭目以待我打造什麼未來
時間是個郵差按時遞送題材
我的夢我主宰你最明白

拭目以待
去期待每份精彩
拭目以待那是怎樣的未來
我用雙手撐開天空每片的陰霾
我的夢我主宰風雨不改

if you have watched a S'pore drama series called "未来不是梦", you'd know it's the theme song of the drama. I love this song very much- the voice of the singer, the rhythm and lyrics of the song. the drama very nice too!!!

mood swing again...

2009-07-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

today went to a place where the memory grew
i couldn't control my drops from my eyes
at the same time, the song he loves was played on the radio,
which made me more upset..

i know... this has to be stopped.
everyone says: NOW
but to me, soon

today i got to see him again since 2 months ago
my forever crush... XD

2009-07-07T09:38:00.001-07:00

In Love with This Piece
RM 79.90-10%

2009-06-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

we have spent 6 days together
we love each other very much
i hug you whenever i see you
shake you whenever i carry you
today is our last day together
and tomorrow you'll be back to your own world
so you give me a big present before we break up
which i did not expect to get it
but i have to wait for 2 months to get it into my hand
you ask me to be patient and it will be mine
i listen to you...

wanna know what it is???
kekeke...
answer will be revealed when the day comes.
stay tune :)

today is my happiest day since 16/6/2009

this is really true about me

2009-06-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

笔写巨蟹座的女人，我非常担心自己不够客观。从小到大，身边总是有好几个巨蟹座的好友，我似乎对这个星座下出生的女子，有着特别的感情。我想，那或许是她们温暖的个性，很容易赢得友谊的缘故。而当彼此真的成为朋友之后，就是你一会儿陪她高兴，一会儿陪她伤心的日子了。我有时觉得她们善解人意的可爱，有时又气她们敏感、情绪化的莫名其妙。而至于想要跟她们谈恋爱的你呢！这样的感受恐怕比我有过之而无不及！>> > 　　>> >>> >>> 　　温和又体贴的巨蟹座女子，很容易给人「恋爱」的感觉。如果你是一个追求「爱的感觉」的人，选择她，你肯定不会失望。巨蟹座的女人通常会给男人一种「如果失去你的爱，我的人生便毫无意义」的信心。这真是很多男人梦寐以求的感受。不过，如果你只是个把恋爱当游戏的人，请千万不要去招惹她，因为，第一，这对一个真情真意的巨蟹女子来说真是太残了，巨蟹座的女人是玩真的，感情绝不是她们轻易亵渎的东西；第二，对于某些蟹座的女子来说，如果她的爱上你，想要摆脱她可没有这么容易。你应该知道被螃蟹钳住想脱身有多难的，是不是？她的缠斗精神会让你非常惊讶，我看过一个背叛巨蟹座女子的男人的下场。此起《致命的吸引力》好不到那儿去。当然，只有极少数的蟹座女子会有如此杀伤力，不过，你还是别心存侥幸为妙。> 　　>>　　她的温柔体贴，以及全心全意的爱会让你感动的不得了，很少有女人会让你觉>> 得自己是那么的重要。但是她的情绪化也很可能弄得你几乎疯掉。她非常没有安全感，敏感而且容易受伤。常常你的一句无心之言，就会弄得她泪流满面，或者生气不安。蟹座的女人有两种，当然正常的时侯都如温暖的太阳一样可爱，但是闹起情绪的时侯，一种是带雨梨花型，另一种就是定时炸弹型。如果你遇上的是前者，情况比较幸运，平常多带两包面纸就好了。若是后者，恐怕精神压力就比较大些了。> 　　>>　　让她心情阴晴不定的原因有千百>> 种，可能是因为她忽然觉得你好久不曾拥抱她了。也可能是你刚才对她女朋友说话的语气太温柔了。甚至可能是你刚才开玩笑，说她新烫的头发像鸟窝。对了！我忘了提醒你，最好不要随便批评，或是揶揄你那蟹座的小女人，她几乎脆弱的经不起一丝丝爱人对她的挑剔。总而言之，包括月亮的阴晴圆缺、海水的潮汐，都可能是影响她情绪的原因，而她最大的隐忧，就是她始终在担心，担心自己是不是够好，担心你是不是不再爱她了，她经常需要你的证实。所以我认为，对你而言，最简单的方法就是直接告诉她吧！> 　　>>　　我>> 有个巨蟹座朋友的老公告诉我，她每天起码问他十次「你还爱我吗？」而我另一个个性比较强烈的蟹座朋友干脆直接要求她的老公每天要说二十遍「我爱你」。你很难相信对不对？但是我发誓，这是千真万确的。> 　　>>　　我想，除了真心爱她，没有更好>> 的相处之道了，但你必须切记爱她的方法绝不是姑息。当她闹情绪的时侯，给她温柔的安慰，等她心情平稳下来之后，你必须很诚恳的告诉她，她过度的情绪化，对你造成了什么样的伤害！把你真实的感受让她知道，她是真心爱你的，她会知道应该适度的修正自己。千万不要一昧的息事宁人，你会把她宠坏的。蟹座女子有个奇怪的特性，那就是如果你不告诉她「够了」，她就会不断的尝试，看你能够容忍她到什么地步。她似乎很难明白什么叫「适可而止」。到最后她的情绪化会到了自己都无法控制的地步，当然，你也终究会忍无可忍的。>>> 　　>> 　　我有几个蟹座朋友的婚姻，就是这样出问题的！到最后她当后悔当初自己太任性。但是凭良心说，那个姑息养奸的丈夫，多少也该负些责任。怎么能在宠坏她之后，再到外面去寻求温柔的慰藉呢？说也奇怪，当巨蟹座的女子感情出了问题后，她们采取的行动也会让你大为警讶；在伤心难过之余，蟹座的女子很可能会去告诉丈夫的新欢，应该做什么菜才合他的口味；她可能会从洗衣店把他洗好的西装送到「他们」的住处；她更可能用私房钱帮他付信用卡的帐单。你不相信吗？我再发誓，这是真的。当我的蟹座朋友告诉我她们的伟大事迹时，我也几乎昏倒。她们就是这样，有的时侯可恶的过分，有的时侯又好的过份。她需要你宠她，她也相对的宠你。对蟹座女子来说，宠坏一个男人似乎是占有他的最好办法，即使你今天离开了她，等你想清楚了，迟早还是会回到她身边的，因为没人会像她那样爱你了　所以，你应该明白，你必须学习用适当的方法爱她。如果你懂得相处之道，她会是个不可多得的妻子。你可以一生享受爱情的甜蜜，她会为你们的家一无保留的付出。巨蟹座的女性还有一个特点，那就是平时她虽然一副脆弱、情绪化，一副没有你就活不下去的样子，但是真的当你们遭遇到现实中的问题，连你都绝望助的时侯，她会变成一个坚强又有韧性的女人。你可以像孩子投进母亲怀抱一样的去依赖她，她会细心的医疗你的伤口，坚强的陪你共度难关。多数巨蟹座的女子都很有金钱观念，懂得量入为出的道理。（除非她有一个挥霍的月座或上升星座）通常她只会在心情沮丧（觉得你不爱他）的时侯，才会乱花钱来平抚内心不安的情绪。为了你的荷包着想，常常给她「爱的感觉」才是明智之举。　请用一种成熟而且负责的态度去爱她！不要在宠坏她之后，再责怪她！真心的爱一只蟹子你会得到丰富无比的回馈。我衷心的希望我的每一位蟹座好友，都能遇到一位好男人

indecisive

2009-06-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

send
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dont send

haiz... i'm scared..
i doubt what will the reply be.

edited and....

2009-06-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

i have edited 'hope you will read this one day' post. i didnt really find out the truth directly but through someone who i know from him. i've found part of my answers and i'm still searching now. so now, i'm accepting, resting, searching, observing, waiting.

talking about myself, actually i'm a realistic person but not a materialistic person. i will not ask for LV Gucci all those branded stuff because i know i'm not qualified to carry those bags or anything and i only look at how much i have but not what i have (beg your pardon here, i will not ask but doesnt mean i will not accept, only if one day i'm so lucky XD). All i want is a man who really loves me and willing to give me a life just like now. so that i can eat and buy anything and go anywhere without worrying how much he has to give me and he will not suffer with the little money he left. i wont say i have and want a luxurious life now but an affortable life. i dont mean to show off here but wanna express how i feel.

as to many of the girls, who doesnt want a good life? yes, there are girls who are willing to live with guys eventhough they cant afford to give them good life. but i choose what i want lo... i have no comment about it.

anyway, yesterday i went out with my long-time-no-see friend---> colleen. i felt so much better when hanging out with friends, at least there was something to keep me from thinking what's not. i had a photoshoot yesterday @ sasa because she didnt wanna take it so she gave me as a present. it is the 1st photoshoot in my 1st 22-year-old life. unfortunately, it's bent by her accidentally. haiz.. so sad. but i managed to photoshop it so it's ok.

call me Ayumi.

i'm gonna perm my hair soon. hahhha... she said i look pretty in permed hair ma. all the time i dont wanna have a permed hair 'cos i scared i'll look too mature. hehe.. actually it's not le...
oh!!! i havent bought a present for myself. i want a dress but cant find a best one. see, i should get a real man just like i get a dress for myself. keep searching and not eagle to accept it. you are right, i'm too eagle. i always hide myself from the truth. too afraid that no one will want me.

actually, i admire his smartness and he can think well. we both lack of something to each other. i know... 勉强无幸福。做唔成情侣可以做朋友.

GET UP GET UP!!! SLAP ME PLEASE!!!

祝我生日快乐

2009-06-23T21:22:00.001-07:00

我知道伤心不能改变什么

那么~让我诚实一点
诚实~难免有不能控制的宣泄
只有关上了门不必理谁
一个人坐在空荡包厢里面
手机~让它休息一夜
难~想切歌切掉回忆的画面
眼泪不能流过十二点
生日快乐～
我对自己说
蜡烛点了寂寞亮了
生日快乐泪也溶了
我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切
还爱你~带一点恨
还要时间才能平衡
热恋伤痕画面重生
祝我生日~快乐

random

2009-06-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

just came back from swimming
very tired desu ne~~~
but feel very healthy now
i feel that i've burned 3000 calories.
just joking.

wish lists:
1. gimme a real man
2. slim down to 40-45 kg.
3. i want longer hair length
4. go to aus after one year
5. more night freedom
6. more dresses to wear

humans are born to be greedy.

hope you will read this one day...

2009-06-21T21:13:00.000-07:00

what's the point of living if I'm restricted from buying what I want like clothes?
she keeps saying I have a lot of clothes, dont buy anymore, I'm just a student bla bla bla...
SO? girls are born to shop man!!! cosmetics, skin care, clothes, shoes, accessories etc. NOT HOUSEHOLD!!! I dont care how many clothes i have. i want new clothes!!! I wanna make myself happy and shopping is the only way can make me happy. I've just broken up with him and somemore it happened to be 1 week before my b-day.

this year gonna be a fucked up year but i wont expect he'll sms me happy birthday. to be honest, he is not really my cup of tea cos he doesnt fit some of my criterias. i want him who is humorous and can make me laugh all the time. i want him who really loves me and wants to see me so much cos he misses me so much. i want him who means his words and not just saying but not doing it. it's ok if he doesnt wanna do it but dont say it just to make me feel he's so nice to me. i want him who is not keep saying he's bz working cant spend time with me, i dont believe that unless he has other reasons. i want him who has time management and keeps my words in his heart. I WANT A REAL MAN! is he? not at all... therefore, it's ok. i'm ok :)

confidence? i'll show my confidence. i'm not that ugly or fat actually. i have what it takes too. look at me. i'm pretty
sociable? i'm sociable in front of my close friends but not people who i only see them once a week or few hours.

anyway, my cousin and her bf came to kl for holiday during 16th-20th june. they kept counselling me. thanks to them so much. AND MY BRO ALSO!! my mom also la, is just that the things she said made me more down.

this was the second time i saw her bf since few years ago. dont judge him from the photo. he's not cool at all. act cool de... he's nice! he must be good to my cousin, if not i'll chop him like a pork chop.

photos with them during the days are in FB. not gonna post it here.

+++
actually, it's not that i did not realize the problem, i did realize it. but i left it behind because i like you very much and i didnt wanna face it so i lied to myself and kept walking. still, i gotta face it that day. it's inevitable. i've talked to someone who knows you quite a lot, which i think. she told me a lot of things that guys are like that. i've got to know a lot about you from her. i was thinking too much that actually you are not such person, even though it varies with other people's view about you. maybe i really misunderstood you. i'm too slow to realize the true problem 'cos i had never thought about it thoroughly, until now. we are unsuitable to each other. i've had been down for sometime, but i kept to myself. i was down until i didnt wanna wear that ring. she said something very make sense, our relationship was too tasteless and didnt really 在乎 each other very much. that's why we never fought and dont know what you and i want--- worse and worse. now i know why you kept giving me so much reasons/excuses just to avoid me. i was too slow and stupid until you have to tell me directly. 大家都有条件，但是就不是对方所要的。真可惜...

i will still miss you. but i hope one day when i talk to you, i know that i have no feeling on you anymore...

byebye old nest, hello new nest

2009-06-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

Pictures will do the talking

2009-05-22T02:13:00.000-07:00

today is my last day living @ Taman Maluri.

the house which i have been living for more than 20 years.

I really mm seh dak to leave this house.

T_T

tomorrow I gonna move my house to Sunway.

Changing to another environment.

will get used to it soon, i guess.

*headache*

after service incident

2009-05-10T19:31:00.000-07:00

me and my mom were suppoesd to dine @ Dome after church service.

but she suddenly said postponed the dinner to eat in the church

ok, fine!

so me went to take the food and my mom find the seats

and there was a woman sitting opposite us.

as those who go to churches know that people there like to have fellowship.

so she started to talk to us and we also talked to her.

but after that we felt that she was kinda talkative and disturbing us

having our dinner, as so we ignored her.

before this, i saw there were many plates of deserts on the table,

so i thought should be one person each plate and

i took two for myself and my mom.

and then this was what happened here. really annoyed us.

i had my own plate of desert and the woman didnt take hers.

she was talking to one lady there.

suddenly, she 一叉就叉 gao kuih

i was so shocked and i kicked my mom's leg and she saw that.

we both kept quiet.

and then the lady asked her, "hey, why you took her food?"

she replid, "huh? i thought we are supposed to share!"

the lady said, "no! each person can take one plate."

she replied again, "oh is it? sorry ar.."

she returned one to me but i said, " it's ok, you take it back"

'cos she ate the one which i didnt want to eat. hahaha..

luckily i'd had eaten the nice one.

but she really pissed me off.

"I THOUGHT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO SHARE"

HELLO, if we were supposed to share, why didnt i share with my mom

but with you, stranger?

you share your money with me as well lo!

since you think that way!

she told us that M'sia is so dusty, unlike London.

she lived in London before but has such manners.

she better keep her mouth shut.

she also asked my mom, " you have one daughter only?"

and she said, "yes". she didnt wanna talk to her so much also.

and then she said, "one daughter only then you mai very lonely lo?" =="

WTF.... she came to church alone le..

such woman like this, i'll surely avoid her as far as possible next time.

2009-04-26T23:33:00.000-07:00

HELLO SONY

SEE YA TOMORROW

I HAVE EPF & SOCSO FOR THIS JOB
*HAPPY*
OF COURSE, THERE'S INCOME TAX TOO
*SAD*

warehouse sales

2009-04-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

yesterday went to Loreal warehouse sales with mom.
i thought we were the earliest who reached there- 7.20am.
but there already got people sitting there.
the sales started at 10am.
yeah, we are crazy.
but we dont care 'cos we can buy skin care at price at least 50%.
biotherm, lancome, SHU UEMURA!!!
well, this time me and my mom were kinda disappointed.
we dont have a lot of money to spend but
we couldn't buy as much as last time.
but it's also a good one 'cos we can save for next warehouse sales.
hahaha... shopaholic ma.
i had grabbed a shu uemura loose powder this time.
i bought at 50% of usual price. hehe..

there was one woman there making complaint.
let's label her as A and to the person who was being complianed as B.

A: excuse me, do you know this is very unfair to others who
came in the morning when you cut the line?
(supposed to be two lines for normal customer)
B: oh no, we are VIPs!
(they sat at vip line, so became 3 lines)
A: oh...
hahaha... very embarrassing le..

and, the crowds were super crazy too.
the queue was so long until ground floor there
and the sales was at 2nd floor. omg...
i didnt manage to take photo there.
not free to do other things anymore.

crazy family day

2009-04-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

20 April 2009
this day was a great day
my relatives and brother came back from S'pore.
i feel that everytime when they come back,
sure there will be some kind of activities on.
this day, we went to cheongK in the morning.
then they went for dinner but i didnt join.
i joined baby's family dinner.
supposedly we went for movie after that but he was a bit sick
so we postponed the movie.
he fetched me to the restaurant where my family had their dinner
'cos i'd be alone at home if he'd had fetched me home.
well, a plan suddenly came up after dinner.
cheongK!!!!
hahaha... this was so crazy lo...
luckily he sick so that i can go cheongK again.
hahah... bad girl me.
all of us were very crazy and happy together.
sing, danced, laughed out loud, drink.
me and my cousin took a lot of photos. she took the most
we recorded some videos too.. hahaa
i must save all these memories in my brain.
________________________________________

went to interview yesterday.
first ever in my life.
kinda nervous when i reached there.
3 jobs interview came up @ one time.
i thought i would know about the company i'll work
for during the interview
but things didnt happen according to my expectation
but there's one job called from the agent said that
i can start work straight away if i confirm with their job.
i called back to confirm with the job after the interview.
but the job is already taken by someone.
so i'm a bit disappointed.
however, this morning she called again
and said that the client might need more people and she'll
put my name on her list and she'll call me next week to confirm.
i really hope that i'll get the job.

2009-04-03T05:27:00.000-07:00

i'm reading twilight to pass my time
not bad le... i wanna know more about Edward Cullen
and i wanna watch the movie to see how Edward looks like. hehe
today is a calming day to me.
he asked me what i wanna do tomorrow
i have no idea, then he said watch 2 fast 2 furious
but now i feel like wanna cheongK tomorrow.
2 fast 2 furious or shinjuku incidents?
or cheongK?

today is bro's 31st bday.
happy birthday to him.
muackz to him

2009-04-02T01:09:00.000-07:00

my mood was so down since the day before.

i thought i would have a calming day today.
but my mood seems like rainy day with no thunder.
therefore no furious but sadness.
yesterday and the day before, i was scolded like hell.
i kept quiet 'cos it's totally my fault.
today, i'm being compared again.
i'm told that i'm the worst of all.
i know i have nothing good to impress them
and i know i had never achieved anything in my life.
i wanna love what i dont love, but it seems so hard to me.
i'm trying to find out what's good in me.
i'm so wished to escape from this house and have a quiet place, just myself
to think about what i have and what i want.

i keep thinking, what if this what if that.
but facing the fact, there's no turning back.

2009-03-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

tomorrow i'll go to Pyramid for the last time
til i come back visit my friends two weeks later
honestly, i really love Sunway cos it has everything here
like lagoon, cheongK, ice skating, nice shops etc
and quite a clean city as well.
and.. and.. and.. nice fooooooood~~~
hehe

of course, tomorrow gotta start packing my everything
but gosh.. i dont know how to pack lo. too many things to pack
i really love my hostel lo cos i can do whatever i want
and go where ever i want, dont need to tell anyone.
or slip out to somewhere i usually cant. hehe..
anyway, see ya Sunway.
~MUACKZ~

2009-03-29T02:32:00.000-07:00

yesterday night got no water supply so i couldnt bathed til this noon
me and other friends suppose to go swimming later before dinner
and i thought i have my swim suit with me now
but actually haiz... at home
so forget it lu~~

now i'm watching EU- 學警狙擊
i just cant stop myself watching lo cos really damn exciting
一集比一集精采
continuing...

2009-03-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

i'm so bored right now
and i miss him so much
i thought i can have more time to spend with him today
but sometimes bad news came to you out of sudden
which turns me down
but i did not show on my face and i just accepted it.
but now when i think back,
i feel a bit angry and upset and bored
not even games and dramas can cheer me up right now
i know i should be understanding but i just couldnt help it.

tomorrow will be fine.

2009-03-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

i really dont know what has happened to my dear external harddisc
my cousin told me that her friend said Maxtor is good
but it is not good to me now.
what is good when my lappy cant detect the harddisc?
my lappy problem or what?
i'm so fucked up now
bought all the way from S'pore but ended up like this.
i hope everything inside the HDD is still there.

FUCKED UP!!!!!!

ice skating

2009-03-25T02:06:00.000-07:00

with no plan, we went for ice skating

cos my roommate Alice finished class early
and Ai King wont be free this Friday
which we have planned to go.

-before we went in to fall down-

-Me & Alice-
-Ai King & Ai Ping-

i was so panic when i stepped in to the ice rink
i was thinking that i so wished that baby was with me
so that i have someone's hand to hold. hehe..
but the more i skated, i more i improved le
i even skated to the middle to cross from one side to the other side
until one DJ said,
"to all public skaters, please skate at the side of the rink
as there are classes going on."
i know he was talking about me la..
hahaha...
but of course, i fell down a lot of times
and now my whole body very pain now.

-looking away-

-focus together-
-what can you see?-

-our skater shoes-

- now i dare to stand in the middle-

-they didnt ask me to take with them ma-

-show hand-
-we even wear these for our daily lives-
-we sit like that when eating at home-

-dai ga jieS-

-two lovely ladies-

-two skaters-
just now went for steamboat buffet with another bunch of friends
another happy dinner with full of laughters around the table
it's much better than Yuen to me lo
'cos is non-halal ma
steamboat sucks without pork, seriously. lol..
when we asked for bill, one of the bosses there said i was full of expressions
haha.. cos i kept laughing out loud and a lot of hand actions
anyway, i enjoyed very much tonight..
oh! of course these few days since i came back on monday
and cheongK and lagoon with my friends.
i'm gonna miss these memories... and remember.

2009-03-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

just got up from bed.
this few days the weather is so freaking hot lo.
my shirt was wet when sleeping this morning.
kolian ar me...

anyway, i'm still thinking which path i wanna take for my future
no one decide for me
all alone by myself
not even my dear daddy.
it's ok.
SEGI is out from my choice.

again

2009-03-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

my phone spoiled again.
not the same phone but the same problem.
FUCK
but luckily i have spare phone to borrow.
gonna get it fixed asap.
i miss using it.
my roommate is having the same problem as mine also.
coincidence.

today went to pyramid had dinner, window shopping
and bought groceries with friends.
we went to Nichi tried on clothes.
three of us tried on the same dress together
but the other friend did not pick the same dress with us.
but that was ok.

WHO SUITS THE BEST?

2nd home sweet 2nd home

2009-03-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

blogging @ my second home now -- HOSTEL
feel so happy to be back here and
laugh out loud with my fellow housemates and roommates again
not long after i back to hostel, we started to gossip again,
one of the incidents made me furious.
that was pouring the water in the jug which
has been one week ago into my roommate's water boiler.
WTF, can't she just pour the water into the sink?
i mean as a normal action of a human, some more
she poured her old water into other people's water boiler.
and then she went downstairs to take fresh water from water cooler.
seriously, sometimes the way she does things is so out of norm.
after my finals we four girls went to cheongK and then
this the same girl sms my roommate saying if she/we could
help her finish the water in the jug 'cos she gotta go home.
and when my roommate saw the jug, the leftover one was just
A LITTLE BIT only! OMG, we really don't know what she's
thinking lo, can't she just pour the water into the sink before
she went back and it didn't take her long to do it also.
some more she asked people to finish up the water for her,
as if her water is so fucking expensive.
again, as a normal action of a human.
it's not that we wanna hate her and discriminate her,
but she sometimes really makes us damn dulan lo.
yea, her studies are very good but the way she thinks really...
haiz, i don't know what to say la.
anyway, we are still planning for upcoming event - ice skating.
hahaha... it's been a while for me since OCt '08 with baby.
we gonna have fun again~~ haha..
even though i'll be moving out next tuesday but
i'll still come back to Sunway to meet them and others and of course
shopping @ pyramid. hehe..
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will upload photos soon.

welcome welcome welcome

2009-03-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

the old owner of the unit above knocked on the door
and i went to open the door and guess what, i saw a handsome
guy standing beside him and he'll be moving in very very very soon.
i kept looking at him and wonder if he is mat salleh but he's a malay.
he looks like a mix one- very good looking, dressed-well and english speaker.
the more i look at him the more i 'tiap tong'. lol!
my mom told me he just came back from England. woo~~~
she asked him if he moves in with his family and friends and
he said with his sister only. well, I'd like to see if his sister is also a pretty
one and looks alike with the brother or he lies-- his girlfriend. haha!
a new handsome neighbor has come and i have chance to spy again.
wahahaha~~

starting point

2009-02-10T15:50:00.000-08:00

sometimes i'm just so not photogenic

but yet, sometimes i do look ok in photos too!
now i'm here to introduce my special one.
I'M BACK!!!