A Girl's Heart Story

what's the point of living if I'm restricted from buying what I want like clothes?
she keeps saying I have a lot of clothes, dont buy anymore, I'm just a student bla bla bla...
SO? girls are born to shop man!!! cosmetics, skin care, clothes, shoes, accessories etc. NOT HOUSEHOLD!!! I dont care how many clothes i have. i want new clothes!!! I wanna make myself happy and shopping is the only way can make me happy. I've just broken up with him and somemore it happened to be 1 week before my b-day.

this year gonna be a fucked up year but i wont expect he'll sms me happy birthday. to be honest, he is not really my cup of tea cos he doesnt fit some of my criterias. i want him who is humorous and can make me laugh all the time. i want him who really loves me and wants to see me so much cos he misses me so much. i want him who means his words and not just saying but not doing it. it's ok if he doesnt wanna do it but dont say it just to make me feel he's so nice to me. i want him who is not keep saying he's bz working cant spend time with me, i dont believe that unless he has other reasons. i want him who has time management and keeps my words in his heart. I WANT A REAL MAN! is he? not at all... therefore, it's ok. i'm ok :)

confidence? i'll show my confidence. i'm not that ugly or fat actually. i have what it takes too. look at me. i'm pretty
sociable? i'm sociable in front of my close friends but not people who i only see them once a week or few hours.

anyway, my cousin and her bf came to kl for holiday during 16th-20th june. they kept counselling me. thanks to them so much. AND MY BRO ALSO!! my mom also la, is just that the things she said made me more down.

this was the second time i saw her bf since few years ago. dont judge him from the photo. he's not cool at all. act cool de... he's nice! he must be good to my cousin, if not i'll chop him like a pork chop.

photos with them during the days are in FB. not gonna post it here.


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actually, it's not that i did not realize the problem, i did realize it. but i left it behind because i like you very much and i didnt wanna face it so i lied to myself and kept walking. still, i gotta face it that day. it's inevitable. i've talked to someone who knows you quite a lot, which i think. she told me a lot of things that guys are like that. i've got to know a lot about you from her. i was thinking too much that actually you are not such person, even though it varies with other people's view about you. maybe i really misunderstood you. i'm too slow to realize the true problem 'cos i had never thought about it thoroughly, until now. we are unsuitable to each other. i've had been down for sometime, but i kept to myself. i was down until i didnt wanna wear that ring. she said something very make sense, our relationship was too tasteless and didnt really 在乎 each other very much. that's why we never fought and dont know what you and i want--- worse and worse. now i know why you kept giving me so much reasons/excuses just to avoid me. i was too slow and stupid until you have to tell me directly. 大家都有条件，但是就不是对方所要的。真可惜...

i will still miss you. but i hope one day when i talk to you, i know that i have no feeling on you anymore...